Happy and Sad

I clearly remember at that time I was studying in the city library during winter holiday. As Chinese New Year approached, there were few people in the library. I was struggling with my bachelor thesis, and what’s worse, I had received no offers from the universities I had applied for my graduate studies. Suddenly, a notification popped up, telling me I’ve got a new email. I opened it and had a glance at the title. It started with “Congratulations!”, from the graduate school of the University of Amsterdam. I knew finally my efforts had paid off! I was too thrilled to read through the email nor to continue working on my thesis. All I wanted to do is go back home and share it with my parents.

My mind goes back to the time when I was a high school student. I went to a boarding school which is far away and has many strict rules. On every Friday on the way back home on the school bus, I was always so elated…that I could finally escape a little from the suffocation I kept feeling. But the happiness usually didn’t last for long as when I got home, I would find my parents quarreling. At first, I expressed my dissatisfaction to them, so they stopped arguing when they realized I was there. However, they also avoided interaction. It seemed that the other person was transparent. They talked to me, asked me how I felt at school, prepared food for me, but they didn’t talk to each other. It was much worse than the quarrels, I thought. I wanted to shout out, but refrained – those days are behind me.