I am Tanya Kan. I am an ethnic Korean born in Uzbekistan (one of 15 Republics of the former Soviet Union).

I worked in financial services and my writing skills were mostly used to create financial reports. A desire to write more and deeper has always been in me.

We are too busy to listen to ourselves and we procrastinate on following what our hearts want, waiting for better moments. As a result, I started actually writing and took writing classes only after coming to Canada.

Now I am trying to improve my writing skills and write, write and write. I am feeling that I am in the flow, which is bringing me to a different level of my life.

September 21, 2019

Thinking of the incident that happened to me recently, the first thing that came into my mind was the story of John, whom I got to know not long ago. I got acquainted with John in the Toastmasters’ Club, which I joined to improve my public speaking skills. Being both Koreans, on the very first day, we were chatting joyfully as if we were old friends about Korea, Koreans, Korean food, and how Koreans were dispersed all over the world. Suddenly, he disappeared and did not come to the Club for several weeks. I did not pay much attention, and I thought, “Well, he must be busy with his work.”
One day when we came to our routine club session, an old lady in the club approached me and asked, “Do you know what happened to John?” I answered, “No, what’s happened to him?”
“I think he has health problems.” she said and continued, “Can you talk to him?”
For a couple of minutes, I was puzzled if he had health problems, he needed to see a doctor, but “what can I do about it?” rushed through my head. But I replied, “Sure!” My gut feeling was telling me there was something deeper than just health problems.
After several days, we were sitting with John in McDonald’s talking about his so-called “health problems”. I would want to call it “a conversation”, but mostly it was John, who was talking, and I was a listener. I got to know that he came to Canada 9 years ago. He was alone and did not have a family in Canada. His parents passed away many years ago, and John had an elder sister, who brought him up and was like a mother to him. Recently his sister has got a car accident and was in a coma for one year already. Doctors said that there was no hope that she could come into life again and advised to let her go.
“Since that time,” he continued, “everything went wrong. I am bullied in my job place. Because of the stress, I can’t sleep at night, smoke a lot and drink alcohol to fall into sleep somehow.” When he was telling me this, I could see tears in his eyes.
“I am completely lost. I think I can’t stand it anymore.” he said. Looking at John, I was feeling so sorry about his situation. I was unprepared to hear that. I could expect to hear everything but not that and because of this, I was struggling to find proper words to calm down John, persuade him that every problem always had a solution and he could cope with it.
“I will pray for you, John, and you should pray too, go to the church, and you will feel better!” I uttered. But he replied in a second, “Don’t bother! I don’t believe in God anymore!”
How weak or strong the faith should be or how wicked the circumstances should be or how offended and hopeless the person should be to lose his faith. I am not sure about it. But I am sure of one thing, which is written in the Bible “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
I will be praying for you, John, because at the moment I do not know what else I can do for you and through praying, I will find the way how to help you.